Like many other queer people, I took coming out as a chance to experiment with my gender presentation. How was I ever going to fit in with my new community if I didn’t look like I belonged? But, I was already deeply insecure about my sexuality and so I developed an equally deep anxiety about “looking” gay. It’s not like the lesbian police were knocking on my door and trying to take away my manicure tools. (Yes, I do really need both the blueish green and the greenish blue, and there is a world of difference between a scattered glitter, a linear holographic glitter and a flakey sparkle, thanks.) I’d always experimented with at-home nail tips and found the satisfaction of painting a long, pointed nail is truly a pleasure.Īll that to say, finding out that my love of fancy, femme nails and my new identity were at odds was a major blow.
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I’m also a snob about it, seeking out high-end brands that go beyond what you find in the drugstore aisle. I’ve always been a nail polish fan-those colorful little vials are the only thing I truly collect. To baby-lesbian me, this was a total bummer. Long nails and finger penetration don’t jive, for painfully obvious reasons. If you haven’t caught on-or just need it confirmed-yes, it’s a sex thing. There’s even a so-called “lesbian manicure” that accommodates for long nails except for the index and middle fingers. (Date going well? Better sneak off and find the nail clippers.) In fact, a poll from queer women’s website Autostraddle found that 95% of lesbians keep their nails short-so it’s a stereotype very much grounded in reality. It’s such a common stereotype that many lesbians have embraced it as part of our dating rituals IRL. You’d be hard-pressed to find a single article about spotting lesbians that doesn’t mention nail length. “Leaning to straight, but we still need more info,” Shane concludes, before they move on to assessing the queerness of the woman’s shoes.Īnd it’s not just on TV. “They’re long and polished,” Dana replies. “Are they polished or natural? chimes in Alice. “Dana, look at her fingernails, are they long or short?” asks heartthrob Shane.
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In the series’ second episode, the gang is at a coffee shop, testing tennis player Dana’s gaydar. I’d been rewatching The L Word as part of my research, which for all its shortcomings is still a go-to reference point for lesbian culture. The answers I found on Tumblr, in pop culture and in Instagram memes were every stereotype you could imagine-short hair, plaid flannels, snapback hats, cuffed white T-shirts, a penchant for vests….Most frequently, though, I came up against the “rule” that you had to have short, bare nails. But what did it mean, culturally, to leave heterosexuality behind? How could I spot potential dates in the wild? It was 2013 and I was 24, so the ship had sailed on finding a campus group for support. Not the liking women part, I had that down. I wanted to know what it meant to be a lesbian. When I realized I was gay, I did what I always do when confronted with something new and potentially scary-I researched.